Dear Owen Wilson,
We are saddened to hear of the turning of your mental fortunes. The Empire, she loves you like you were an impressive spire on the topkapi of mighty Constantinople. Did we not relish you in a cowboy hat and loafers playing irrepressible Eli in The Royal Tenenbaums? We did. Did we not weep when you joined fabulous forces with Ben Stiller in that most excellent piece of satire, Zoolander? We did.
The Mighty Empire wishes to impart that you, talented young man, have much to live for.
On a completely unrelated note, the Empire also warns you against hooking back up with Steve Coogan, or anyone else who might have ever thought about dating the Reaper of Prodigiously Talented People, Courtney Love, when you regain your health and your composure.
Cordially,
The Ottoman Empire
Thursday, August 30, 2007
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